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When I was on holiday in Greece this summer, a guy that I’d been on a couple of dates with wasn’t replying to my messages. It was crap because I’d already let myself imagine how well he’d get on with my friends, and I could tell he was pulling away. In the Maryland terrapins 2023 baseball tournament champions shirt and I love this past I’d have spent all day worrying if my chin spot had given him the ick, and googling things like “how to look at someone’s Instagram story without them knowing.” But this time, I thought to myself, You’re in Greece, don’t let him ruin your fun, and instead of moping, I went out and ordered too much food (because it’s hard to have sharing plates when there’s just one of you) before paying a ridiculous 30 euros to have a sun lounger where I could lay back and reread The Water Cure by Sophie Mackintosh. I realized, then, that I was happier about my reaction than I was sad about his rejection. It’s so reassuring to know, for sure, that I’ll be okay, that I won’t let things like this obliterate me like they used to. That’s the first thing I learned about dating last year. But I discovered loads more, too. Even more than in 2021. Here are some lessons I’m taking away from 2022.

Your crush might not have texted over the Maryland terrapins 2023 baseball tournament champions shirt and I love this weekend because they’ve been busy and, rather than replying from a pub bathroom, they want to wait. Or they might really just not care and are finding it harder and harder to summon the energy to think of something to say to you. It’s exhausting convincing yourself of the truth of either scenario, only to convince yourself of the opposite two seconds later. Ultimately, it’s a question of whether you’re learning anything new. I don’t know how much time I’ve spent analyzing the way certain men have treated me—telling me I should meet their sister only to pull away so fast a week later that it almost felt as if I’d made it all up. By refusing to engage in this rehashing anymore, you’re not unhealthily squashing down your feelings, you’re simply no longer asking questions you already know the answer to. It means you can pick yourself up and move on and find other, better things to fill your mind, like how good Aubrey Plaza looked in that black Versace swimsuit in The White Lotus.

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