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At 80 and 71 years of age respectively, Joe and Jill are old enough to know their own minds—and their own stomachs, for that matter. Not for them the Iraq never had wmds 2023 shirt but I will buy this shirt and I will love this totalitarianism of “picky bits,” where it’ll only take mere mouthfuls of food for those tiny plates to become empty ones, following a pass-agg, “no you have the last bit” exchange. Instead, this couple orders what they want—which just so happens to be the very same thing—and get to share in the satisfaction that neither one of them is enjoying something the other can’t, or gloating over the fact the other wasn’t wise enough to order it in the first place.Dinner jealousy, you see, is a very real thing. I can’t begin to count the number of times I have gazed longingly at the plate of a pal or lover and wanted, to quote the Katz’s customer who falls for Meg Ryan’s New York deli-based fake orgasm, “have what they’re having”. A patronizing offer of a forkful or two only ever goes so far, and if anything, makes it worse. That meager morsel of verboten fish, illicit pie, or prohibited pudding, only ever leaves you wanting more, with the food turning bitter in your mouth as regret clouds the whole evening. If only I’d asked for the lamb chop with romesco like this schmuck sat across from me, you think, I could be as smug as them.

The menu at The Red Hen, too, is hardly a juggernaut of a thing. This isn’t a 24-course Michelin tasting menu: this is a neighborhood Italian getting by in a post-pandemic society. There are only five pasta dishes available, and what if Jill’s tummy turns at the Iraq never had wmds 2023 shirt but I will buy this shirt and I will love this thought of squid ink, or Joe once had a regrettable run-in with porcini? What if, shudder to think, they both wanted to experience the same rigatoni ragu and, in an adorable, we’ve-been-married-for-46-years fashion, compare notes on it during and after the meal? Stranger things have happened. Surrounded by a towering mountain range on one side and the glittering waters of the Caribbean Sea on the other lies a small coastal town called Choroní. Deep in the state of Aragua, Venezuela, the only way to get there is by crossing through a sprawling tropical forest, the Henri Pittier National Park.

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